Chapter Text
Tina picks listlessly at her toast and eggs the next morning, and Newt can tell she’s preoccupied. Her hand keeps going to her hair, slightly longer now, pushing strands out of her face.
“What time will you be done?” he asks as she and Queenie pull on their coats against the spring rain outside.
“I dunno. Eleven maybe?” Tina shrugs.
“May I meet you ladies for lunch then?” Newt suggests. He’s not worrying exactly, but he has a bad feeling about this visit and wishes he could invent an excuse to go along.
Tina smiles at him, but he can tell it’s forced. “That’s a good idea. We’ll see you.”
As she pulls the door closed, Queenie turns back and gives him a wink.
Newt arrives at the Woolworth building – sans case – at five minutes to 11. An agitated Queenie pulls him into a quiet corner of the lobby as soon as he steps through the door.
“Did you find it?” she whispers.
He nods. “Hidden behind some books on her shelf. It was completely full, but the wax seal had been broken.”
Queenie wrings her hands together in a manner most unlike her. “I hope we’re doing the right thing. Teenie’s just…. freshening up in the ladies’. She’ll be right out.”
“Did something happen?” Newt doesn’t want to pry, but Queenie is obviously listening, and hard, to everyone who passes through the cathedral-like entrance hall.
She sighs. “Just lots of whispering.”
“About Tina?”
“Uh-huh. Those photos didn’t stay as quiet as Mr. Graves wanted ‘em to. People are seeing Teenie and remembering.” She rubs her forehead. “It’s horrible. They’re thinkin’ all kinds of nasty stuff about her.”
Newt clenches his fists. “Does she know?”
Queenie nods, miserably. “Yeah. They’re not hiding it. When she left the meeting with Mr. Graves, she had to walk back through her office and no one said a word to her. People she’s worked with for years! Not one of ’em asked how she’s doing or said they were glad to see her. She’s so hurt….”
“Here she comes,” Newt murmurs.
Tina strides toward them, chin up, steps long and angry. Her eyes shine with tears but her expression is fierce.
Newt is reminded of a female dragon, brittle in manner but fearsome in its wrath. He swallows as his fingers twitch against his coat before he ducks his head in greeting, careful to avoid eye contact.
“Tina,” he murmurs. “We're so glad to see you. Did you forget your coat? No matter, you may use mine.” He steps out of his blue great coat and the distraction proves effective– she sighs and unbends a little, eyes still sparking but tears evaporating.
She blushes. “Thanks. I did leave my coat in Mr. Graves’ office,” she says in reply and allows him to drape the fragrant wool around her shoulders.
Queenie leads the way to a tiny deli where they stake out a table in the corner. Tina swirls the ice in her glass with a morose expression.
What now? Newt thinks at Queenie who rolls her eyes and gestures to Tina.
“So, how did your meeting go?”
Tina shrugs. “Not too bad. He already knew a lot of it – some of the gang members talked and they found a lot of evidence at the warehouse.” She lowers her voice, and Queenie and Newt lean close. “He gave me my wand.” Her hand strays automatically her arm holster, hidden by the sleeve of her blouse. “It doesn’t work, but it’s nice to have it back.”
“Why don’t we see about getting you a new one when we’re done here?” Queenie says, looking excited. “There’s a shop a couple of blocks over, ya know.”
“Maybe,” Tina grimaces. “I’ll think about it.”
Over vegetable soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, they chat about safe topics – the new theater that’s just opened in mid-town– “I wish we could go,” Queenie laments. “It looks real classy.” – and how Newt’s publisher is hounding him for the final draft of his manuscript. “I’ve told him another month at least,” Newt says with a glance at Tina.
“So?” Queenie asks when they’re outside again.
Tina takes a deep breath. “OK. I guess it can’t hurt to look.”
To no-maj eyes the tiny shop appears to be completely derelict– the interior dusty is empty and the outside has peeling paint, but they can see a small sign in the window: “Caduceus Wands – use alley door.”
The alley door leads into a woodworking shop where the air is full of sawdust and the scents of pine and varnish. A workbench holds wands in various stages of creation.
“May I help you?” A young, dark-haired man in a stained apron approaches them.
“Yes, I’m looking for a wand.” Tina holds hers out, suddenly reluctant to let it go. “Mine was broken – accidentally.”
He examines it gently. “You did a good job with the Reparo. Let me get my dad. He’ll be able to help, I think.” He disappears into an adjacent room and returns a moment later with a stooped, elderly gentleman, presumably the Mr. Caduceus of the sign.
“Hmmm…” He turns the wand in gnarled fingers. “A Quintana….hazel…..Diffindo!” With a crack that makes Tina wince, it splits in two along the original break. “And White River Monster spine.” He looks at her with lively eyes behind round spectacles. “The core isn’t broken. If you want, I can try to place it in another hazel casing.”
“I didn’t know that was possible,” Newt says.
The old man shrugs. “Sometimes….it doesn’t always work. And it won’t be exactly the same, mind,” he says to Tina. “Even if I made it identical. The new wood will have its own character.”
She nods. “I understand. Will you try, please?”
“Alright, Miss...?”
“Goldstein. Tina Goldstein.”
“Miss Goldstein. If it doesn’t work out, I won’t charge you any extra. It’s rare I get the chance to transfer a core. Most people just buy a completely new wand.”
Tina blushes. “We’ve….been through a lot together.”
Mr. Caduceus studies her, and Tina wonders if he has the Sight or perhaps some legilimency. She glances at Queenie, but her sister is talking animatedly to the younger man.
“Yes, I can see that. Well, it will take me a few hours. I have a blank here that needs some finishing. Why don’t you come back tomorrow; same time?”
“I will. Thank you so much.”
Tina is noticeably more cheerful as they walk back to the Woolworth building, but after she and Newt say goodbye to Queenie her expression darkens. “If I never step foot in there again, it’ll be too soon,” she mutters as they start toward the brownstone.
Newt hums sympathetically but doesn’t reply.
She gives him a sharp glance. “Did Queenie tell you?”
“How your co-workers reacted to your presence? Yes. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.” It isn’t easy to keep his voice calm, but he manages.
He almost doesn’t hear her. “Sure, I do.”
The derision and self-loathing in her voice shocks him. “That’s not true!”
Tina lets a no-maj family go by and ducks into an alleyway. Confused, he follows her. She turns on him as soon as they’re out of sight. “How could you say that? You don’t know…” she breaks off, breathing hard. “You don’t know all of it. I’ve done horrible things, Newt – things I agreed to! So, yes, I do deserve it!”
“Tina. Despite what you may think, despite what anyone else thinks or says– you don't deserve that now, and you never did. You are better than that, Tina. You are greater and stronger. Your captors had to turn their cruelty around and make it your fault because they weren't strong enough to break you themselves. Don't finish the job for them, please.”
She lets out a long sigh, shoulders slumping.
He looks away, glancing around the narrow space to give her time to recover herself. “Tina? Do you realize where we are?”
“In an alley?” The New York sarcasm is strong in her voice.
"No, love. This is our alley, don't you recognize it?" Newt runs slim fingers over the rough brick. "Right here is where you pushed me against the wall and interrogated me," he says with a small smile, one that recalls to her mind the scent of car exhaust and sweat and the klaxon of the bank alarm. "Then you arrested me under false-pretense and dragged me into MACUSA."
It's a tease but a gentle one, and it effectively saps much of the brittle anger out of her. "You're right," Tina marvels, looking around. She blushes slightly and crosses her arms over her chest, hoisting a disbelieving brow. "But it wasn't false-pretense. You were breaking the law."
Newts steps closer. "Oh, quite," he says easily. "But you were imitating an auror if I recall correctly. Well, you let me believe you were one, which is just as bad." He grins, open and unabashedly. "I suppose I arrested myself."
She laughs, and he relaxes as they slip back onto the sidewalk. He refuses to worry – worrying means you suffer twice, after all – about their plans for tonight. But he hopes Tina will be able to forgive them – and him – eventually.
Newt disappears into his case when they get back, leaving the lid raised in invitation. Feeling restless, Tina retrieves the packet of his letters from the drawer in her bedside table and climbs down. The workshop is empty except for a few pixies which Tina shoos away when they get too close. Stepping outside into the warm, artificial sunlight, she looks around for Newt but he’s nowhere in sight.
The niffler runs over to her, and she scoops him up awkwardly with the arm not holding the stack of paper. “Where’s your mummy, huh?”
Dougal appears beside them, making her jump. He tugs at her trouser leg and points to the edge of the grindylow’s marshy habit.
“It’s okay. I just wanted to let him know I’m here,” Tina assures him. “I’ll be in my usual spot.”
The demiguise nods and gestures for the niffler. She puts it down and the pair wanders off together.
Settling onto her favorite rock, Tina unfolds the next letter in the stack.
Dear Tina,
We left Liverpool this morning with the tide. Actually, left is too lively a word, limped out of the harbor would perhaps be a better description of our progress. I fear this will be a very long two weeks. I shall pass the time caring for my creatures and writing to you– both pleasant pursuits which I hope will take my mind off the cramped confines aboard this ship as well as my fears for you. I am the only passenger– I have the impression they do not get many– so I will not be bothered with questions about my business.
As to that, I told the Ministry that I have a family emergency and do not know how long I will be away. Theseus was pleased to confirm my story, but not without a smidge of gentle teasing about my relationship with you. You know how siblings can be! I wasn’t lying – you, Queenie and Jacob have become my family over the past months, even though we were only in one another’s company for a week. You especially….I look forward to our letters very much.
I almost crossed that sentence out, but I will leave it. I refuse to entertain the idea that our letters will not resume because you have been lost to me us. So I will jot down my thoughts as I find the time and hope that you will be able read them someday.
Tina smiles at the parchment. She too had thought of Newt and (and Jacob if truth be told) as family after the events of December. When Jacob had regained his memory so quickly, she couldn’t begrudge he and Queenie their romance.
She turns the page over to find the letter resumes on the other side in a different shade of the peaco*ck blue ink Newt favors. A different day, then?
Tina,
I’m not certain, but I believe I may have spotted a sea serpent! We reached open ocean yesterday, and I decided to take a turn around the deck for some fresh air. I do enjoy sailing even if my stomach takes a few days to settle.
I was standing by the rail when I noticed a creature beneath the water. It ran quite close to the ship, so I supposed it to be one of the dolphins which we encountered as we left Ireland– we made a brief stop there to take on additional crew. They are social beasts and seem to enjoy the company of humans. But as I looked, I noticed no dorsal fin such as the dolphins have, only what appeared to be a hump or a series of them– the waves made it difficult to be sure. I was much excited, as this is a characteristic of the sea serpent noted in Muggle texts.
Resolved to make a further study, I summoned a fish and tossed it out to our companion.
Tina shakes her head in fond exasperation. Of course you did, Newt! Fascinated, she reads on.
A head which could only be compared to that of a horse, though deep green in color and dripping with seaweed, rose out of the water, snatched the fish from mid-air and disappeared so quickly, I only caught the barest glimpse. I confess that by this point I was leaning well over the rail, when a large fish-like tail broke the surface and splashed down again, drenching me with icy water. I am convinced it was deliberate. There’s gratitude for you!
Of course, gratitude or not, it was one of the few things recently that brought a smile to my face.
Tina laughs, and still grinning, returns the letter to its envelope.
“What’s so funny?”
She looks up to see Newt striding toward her. “Just reading about your adventures with a sea serpent.” She held up the letter. “Did you see it again after that?”
“No. I made sure to look every day, but no luck. I suppose I gave her the wrong first impression.” He shrugs. “Maybe another time. I uh, I need to renew some of my spells and I thought you might like to help me?”
She hesitates but follows him back into the central area of the case. “I’m not sure how much help I’ll be without a wand.”
“Consider it wandless practice, then. Is the inferno spell the only one you can do?” He guides her through the rainforest habitat, water dripping down their necks.
“Pretty much, except for sealing up my wand and a few spells we learned in training. Queenie’s tried to teach me over the years, but it doesn’t stick.” Tina swerves around a small green pool. “It was just something to keep busy, keep from going crazy.”
He nods. “I know how that is.” He smiles a bit at her surprise. “I spend many hours in uncomfortable places waiting for creatures to reveal themselves. The tedium can be unbearable. A wand also attracts attention and is easily broken.”
“Yeah, it is,” Tina says grimly. The vines in front of them look oddly blurry and half-formed. She puts out a hand and feels the solid wall of the case instead of the plants her vision says are there.
Newt tells her the spells, and she watches his wand movements closely. She concentrates on a section of vines, visualizing the spell in her mind’s eye. Slowly, very slowly, the vines fill in and look more realistic.
“Excellent!” Newt beams and Tina can’t help feeling pleased with herself.
They work in silence for a few minutes before he asks, “Would you mind telling me how your wand was snapped?”
She shrugs. “Not much to tell really. When they jumped me they took it.” She rubs her right wrist absently. “The next day, the leader – Raul,” she spits the name out like a curse, “broke it and gave me the pieces.”
Newt touches her arm very gently. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll have a new one tomorrow.” She turns back to the vines, but the memory lingers.
When they finish, Tina is drooping and barely able to stay awake.
“I believe you overdid it just a smidge,” Newt says putting a careful arm around her shoulders to help her back to his shed.
“Guess….so…” All Tina wants to do is sleep for a week. She lets Newt deposit her on a wooden bench and watches as he waves his wand to string a wide hammock, complete with pillow, between two trees.
He takes her hand and pulls her up again. “Why don’t you have a kip? I need to prepare the next batch of revisions for my publisher, so I’ll be just inside.”
“OK.” She tumbles into the hammock and has just enough time to realize the pillow smells like him – herbs, and musk – before her eyes close.
Soft voices wake her and she watches, still half asleep as Queenie, Jacob and Newt carry various things out of the shed. Queenie puts down a basket and comes over.
“Hey, sleeping beauty! We thought we’d have dinner down here for a change. I made all your favorites, and Jacob brought a cake.”
Tina struggles out of the hammock. “Didn’t realize I slept for so long.”
Queenie steadies her as she stumbles. “Guess you needed it, huh? Nothin’ wrong with that.”
They spread blankets in the Arizona habitat – Tina suspects Newt had something to do with that choice – and set out mountains of food– Lamb chops with mint jelly, potato pancakes with applesauce, fried apples and onions and the absolutely sinful lemon chiffon cake.
“It’s not mine,” Jacob apologizes, cutting them all slices. “There’s an art to sponge cakes ya know? It takes a long time to get just right.”
“Well, it’s wonderful!” Queenie says, and Newt mumbles agreement.
Tina can only nod with her mouth full. She has seconds of everything until she thinks she might be sick. She sets her plate down at last and looks up to find the three of them staring at her. “What?”
Queenie clasps her hands in her lap. “We wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay…” Tina swallows nervously. “What about?”
“We know you’re still taking Dreamless Sleep,” Newt says. He toys with his fork, not looking at her. “I poured it out this morning.”
She can’t breathe. “You did what?” She tosses aside her plate, heedless of the sound of breaking china and scrambles to her feet. “Why? I need it!”
“No, you don’t, Teenie!” Queenie starts to get up too, but Jacob puts a hand on her knee. “You’re only hurtin’ yourself more.”
Tina laughs bitterly. “How do you know? You don’t know, any of you! You don’t know what they did – what I did!”
“That’s what you said this afternoon,” Newt says quietly. “Why don’t you tell us?”
He’s looking right at her and his eyes – those familiar green eyes – are sad. She can’t bear the pity in them, the memories they bring back, and suddenly she wants to hurt them, all three of them.
“Fine! You want to know what happened?”
She takes a deep breath and lowers her occlumency shields, baring herself to her little sister completely. Queenie reels back against Jacob in shock.
“After they caught me, they tied me up and left me that way overnight. The next morning, he tortured me – not just with spells but with things. He hurt me, healed me and did it again. Over and over for hours!” She screams the last words and something in her throat tears.
She hitches a gasp and forces herself to go on, ignore their horrified expressions. “When I tried to escape – and I almost made it, damn it! They beat and starved me for days. Then he raped me and said it was my punishment. He…he said I brought it on myself.”
Queenie gives strangled sob and presses a hand to her mouth. Jacob has an arm around her. The freckles stand out stark against Newt’s white skin, and she thinks there are tears on his lashes.
The anger is draining away, and she fights to hold onto it. But she is so tired. “A day or two later, he mentioned you, Queenie.”
“Me?” Her sister looks shocked.
Tina nods, and shakily lowers herself to her usual rock, unable to keep standing. “Yeah, he said I must be getting lonely, and he could bring you and Newt to me.” She looks at him. “He said you were in the city, and I didn’t know if he was lying or not. But I couldn’t risk it.”
Queenie is shaking her head as she sees it. “Oh, Teenie…You didn’t….”
“I had to!” She clenches her fists and hunches over as her bile rises. “I couldn’t let them hurt you.”
Queenie pulls free of Jacob and stumbles to her. She pulls Tina into a bone crushing hug as she sobs.
Tina smooths her curls. “I promised to keep you safe, didn’t I?”
She turns to Newt and Jacob who both look very confused. “I made an Unbreakable Vow to do whatever they wanted if they left you all alone.” She bites her lip. “I don’t regret it. I don’t. I didn't know about the photos. They hurt you anyway. I'm sorry." She glances at Newt, and his face twists with pain.
Jacob shakes his head. "Don't be," he says in his kindly way. "Those pics helped Mr. Graves and them find you after all."
Queenie sits up and wipes her face on her sleeve. "Come to sit back down with us, sweetie."
And Tina does, resuming her place with Newt on one side and Queenie on the other. She takes a gulp of cider for courage.
"Anyway, after that, I was their slave. Anything their wives and girlfriends wouldn't do..." She trails off, skin crawling with remembered revulsion.
Newt reaches out and takes her hand. "Tina…your courage amazes me. I can't begin to imagine how difficult that must have been. Thank you."
Those two words undo her completely. And then she’s crying all the tears she hadn’t shed in nearly two months. Dimly, she feels Newt pull her into his arms, and she clutches him to keep from being swept away.
Gradually, she is reduced to the snuffly, headachy mess she hates most about crying. Newt’s heartbeat is a steady thump beneath her ear, and his arms enfold her without crushing. She can’t remember the last time she felt so protected.
He shifts around a bit and offers her a clean, white handkerchief.
“Thanks.” She mops her eyes and only then realizes they are alone. “When did Jacob and Queenie leave?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t notice.” He settles his chin back on top of her head, and Tina finds herself wishing they could stay like this forever.
“As nice as this is,” he says after a while, “I’m afraid my legs are going numb.”
“Sorry.” She gets unsteadily to her feet.
He smiles, a bit shyly. “No harm done. Come on, let’s get you up to bed.” He holds out his hand, and she takes it without thinking. It’s warm and fits with hers perfectly.
They leave the desert and return to the central area with the little wooden shed. Faux darkness has fallen and the swath of the Milky Way is just visible overhead.
“Can I sleep down here tonight – in the hammock maybe?” She doesn’t want to torment Queenie any more than she already has. And without the potion – she pushes down a shard of panic – dreams and nightmares will surely come.
Newt looks surprised but pleased. “If you want, but we should make it more comfortable first.” He studies the hammock for a minute and then transfigures it into a swinging bed complete with mattress.
“Thank you. That looks wonderful.” She’s tempted to kiss his cheek, just a quick peck. But a part of her is still too raw for that, so she gives him her best smile instead. “I need to wash up and change. I’ll be right back.”
“I have a calming tea I’ll make while you’re doing that. It’s not as good as Dreamless Sleep, but it should make you nicely drowsy.”
She returns ten minutes later, face scrubbed free of tear tracks, in her pajamas and robe. He presses a large mug into her hand and pours one for himself. They sit on the steps of the shed listening to the night noises, comfortably not talking. Whether it’s the effect of the tea or her emotional outburst (at least it wasn’t magical this time), Tina finds her eyelids drooping and barely covers a yawn in time.
“Sorry. I think I’m worn out.” She gulps down the rest of the tea, and Newt takes the mug from her.
“So am I – it’s been a very long day.” He helps her to her feet, and her breath catches at his entirely non-threatening proximity. He shifts the mugs to his left hand and reaches up slowly, giving her time to protest she realizes, to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “Sleep well, Tina.”
She stands frozen on the step for a full minute after he goes inside. Feeling oddly bereft, she climbs onto the hammock-bed and lies down, gazing up at the constellations overhead. A dip of the mattress makes her jump as the niffler–do you have a name?– leaps up beside her followed by Dougal.
“Are you fellas gonna keep me company?”
As if in answer, the niffler curls up into a warm little ball at her side, and the demiguise settles himself on the other pillow. Hmm… a bed big enough for two, with two pillows...Stop it, Goldstein! You are nowhere near ready for that
She absent-mindedly names various star formations while going back over the events of the day. How funny that they had ended up in that same alley…. Wait. Did he call me ‘love’? She replays his words. Yes, he did. He’s English. Don’t the English say things like that all the time? Whether he meant it or not it was still – nice – to hear it.
It takes Newt a long time to fall asleep. Tina’s story – brief and lacking in details as it had been – continues to torment him. Again, he marvels that she has the strength to let him get close, let alone touch her. At last, he slips into an uneasy doze hyper-aware of her presence in this place that has been his alone for so long.
A rush of air wakes him and he realizes his blanket is missing. Hands tug at his pajama sleeve and he opens his eyes to see Dougal’s huge, dark ones staring back. The demiguise tugs again, and Newt sits up blearily.
“Dougal? What’s wrong?”
Another tug toward the door.
“Is it Tina?”
The creature nods and Newt rushes out of the shed.
The niffler (I really should give him a name one of these days) meets him right outside and tries to climb him in obvious panic. “Go with Dougal,” Newt says absently.
Tina’s making little cries of distress, and each one goes straight to his heart. She’s thrashing in the grip of the nightmare, and he has no idea what to do. Should he go and wake Queenie? The dampening spells he’s put on the case are probably blocking her usual mental connection with her sister. No, Tina’s here with him because she wanted to be. But how can he wake her without making things worse?
“Tina?” He approaches from the opposite side of the bed, so he’s not right next to her. “Tina, love, wake up.”
Her agitation increases, tears trickling from under tightly-closed lids. “No…Please, don’t.”
“Tina…” Very slowly he reaches over and lays a hand lightly on her arm.
She yanks it away and rolls onto her side with her back to his, knees drawn up protectively.
No help for it. He walks around and crouches so he’s at eye-level. Then he shakes her shoulder, hard.
Her brown eyes fly open, unseeing, and her fist lashes out. If he hadn’t been ready for it she would’ve gotten him square in the nose.
“It alright, Tina. You’re safe.” He stays very still and makes no further move to touch her.
Gradually, the dream releases her from its claws. “Newt?”
He smiles. “Yes. I’m sorry I startled you.”
“That’s OK.” She rubs her sleeve across her face. “Thanks for waking me up.”
“You’re welcome. Can I get you anything?”
She sits up, still looking dazed. “Some water, maybe?”
“Of course.” He doesn’t hurry, giving her time to get herself under control. When he returns with the glass, she’s calmer.
“Thank you.” She takes a long drink and hands it back.
“Do you need anything else?” He steels himself for her to ask for a dose of Dreamless Sleep. He does have a small bottle, and after what he just saw, he might break down and give it to her. But her answer surprises him.
“Will you lie down with me?” She’s looking at him anxiously, like a child who’s just asked for a very expensive toy she knows her parents can’t afford.
He hesitates. “Tina, I’m not sure that’s –”
She twists the sheet in both hands. “Please! I don’t…I don’t want to be alone right now.”
The fine tremors running through her decide him. “Alright.” Slowly, he rounds the bed again. She pulls back the blankets, and he slides beneath them to lie looking up at the lightening sky overhead. “Is this okay?”
The mattress dips as she lies down again. “Why did you pour it out? The Dreamless Sleep? I didn’t give you a chance to say.”
He settles on the simplest explanation. “It’s dangerous if you take too much for too long. You might not wake up.”
A pause, and then she says very quietly, “Right now, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
He takes a deep breath while eying her carefully. "I think you'll find," he begins slowly, "that your sister and Jacob would miss you terribly, were that to happen." A beat, then, almost too low for her to hear: "As would I."
Tina glances at him skeptically before looking away. Newt worries his knuckles and decides a change of subject is in order.
“Do you think you could tell me about your nightmare? Please.”
A pause. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“No,” he says at once. “But if it will help you to talk about it, I will gladly listen.”
She tugs the blanket more securely around her. “It was right after I made the Vow. Raul took me back to his private rooms. I was so scared because I had no idea what he was going to do, and I’d just given him permission to do anything he wanted to me. I was shaking so much I could hardly walk.”
Newt grits his teeth and concentrates on keeping his breathing steady. The last thing she needs is you blowing up. Keep it together.
“He locked the door behind us and pulled me over to the bed. I thought he would make me lie down, but he didn’t. He sat down and made me unfasten his pants and…. take him out…I’d never really seen a man before. Even at school, the couple of times I had a fella, we just kissed a bit.”
Newt swears he can feel his heart breaking. He wants so badly to pull her into his arms and never let her go.
“He pushed me to my knees, and I was so stupid! I still didn’t know what he wanted me to do even then. He told me to take him in my mouth, and then he said, ‘bite me and I’ll cut out your tongue,’ and I believed him. So I…I did it.” The tears are back in her voice. “It was awful. He held my head down, and I couldn’t breathe and….”
“Tina.” Newt can’t help but turn onto his side to look at her. “I’m so sorry you–”
“You were there too,” she says, anguished. “In my dream.”
His own breath hitches. “What?”
“When he’d had enough of that – he didn’t….finish – he had me lie down on the bed, and he started….and I turned my head so I didn’t have to look at him. And in my dream, you were standing in the corner of the room.”
Tina shifts so they’re facing each other. “I called to you, but you couldn’t hear me. You just stood there like you were watching a pair of your creatures mating.”
He hurts for her, not for himself. She hasn’t asked for any of this. There’s nothing he can say that won’t come out wrong except, “I’m sorry.”
She sighs. “I know…I’m sorry, too. I’m so tired, but I don’t know if I can go back to sleep after that.”
“Can I do anything to help, love?”
She smiles at how easily the word leaves his lips. "Just stay here. Can you do that?"
"Of course." Newt settles back and closes his eyes, certain that sleep will not visit him again this night. Beside him, Tina moves in a rustle of sheets, and calm has descended when cool, slender fingers slide between his own. He shows no outward reaction except to sigh gently, and her whisperdrifts across the expanse of pillows.
"I don't want to be alone."
He smiles faintly and squeezes her hand. "It's fine, love. I’m here," he murmurs, and her even breaths wash over him as she drifts. He follows soon after, the small smile never leaving his face.
